POSITIVELY NEGATIVE

Practice Off The Mat

Vol. 2 Issue 1

This isn’t the original post for the start of the year I had intended (that will come next week probably). Sometimes life offers a different option.

Coming out of the holidays I was again drawn back to that cinematic classic A Christmas Story.  There’s a scene where Ralphie’s bud Schwartz gets his arm twisted by legendary movie villain Scut Farkas who won’t release him until he screams “UNCLE!” to his satisfaction.

I’ve never identified with Schwartz more than these past several weeks.

  • The weekend before Christmas saw the first cold temperatures of the season. Complete with the discovery that our furnace was leaking.

  • The Christmas weekend storm knocked out power for ~36 hours plunging us into a deep dark freeze and canceling our holiday with my family.

  • New Year’s Day arrived with a positive COVID test that shattered my excitement to teach my sold-out class with Molly and landed me in bed very, very sick for several days.

  • Right as I started to feel better last weekend, Noreen tested positive. We’ve reset the isolation / quarantine clock. And she’s had to cancel a trip out west she was looking forward to for months.

WHAT. THE. FUDGE. UNCLE!!!!!

I’m exhausted. I’m frustrated. I feel like shit physically and emotionally. It’s easy to think the entire past month has been one “screw you” after another. 

It can be difficult to find the grace to be grounded while moving through difficult experiences.  It is challenging to balance allowing the emotions that come with sucky things to arrive and be. While at the same time not letting them pull you into a rabbit hole of blindly acting out of anger and despair.

What tools do you use to meet adversity and challenge? How to find balance in this?

You can use your yoga and mindfulness practices to acknowledge difficult experiences through expressing the big emotions. The key is to try and stay present. Because in the present moment is where the full range of experience is.  What can you do to stay present?

  • Notice what you can observe for sensations in the body and the breath

  • Try and slow down and notice what thoughts are dominating the mind  

  • Bring about focused breathing

  • Move your body to discharge pent up energy

  • Use short meditations to identify thoughts, feelings, sensations happening

  • Acknowledge what you are feeling by saying or journaling things like “I am here with my anger right now.”

  • Take time to let it out: cry, yell into a pillow, shout at the ocean, scream from a mountain top

There are countless approaches to find space in the moment. And in that space, you can find anchors to help keep you present, grounded, and engaged with what you need to do next.

For example, as we were going through the experiences I had to keep coming back to some anchoring thoughts of gratitude for what was also going right:

  • Our furnace was leaking but I asked for help from friends for ideas of how to fix it – and I did! Our home is fine.

  • We lost power but had warm places with smiling faces to hang out, get snacks, and charge our devices (and many friends who invited us in if we needed it). We were supported.

  • I really missed seeing my family but Nor and I hung out on the couch, ate takeout, and watched Christmas movies on the iPad by candlelight. We had each other (and the cats!).

  • We both are still going through COVID and had to miss important things. But we have a house to isolate in, access to healthcare and support, supply delivery services, daytime jobs that allow for remote work, and friends who have checked in on us. We are safe.

This doesn’t take away or ignore the very real frustration, fear, worry, angst, anger, etc. that is being felt. But it can help to stay connected with everything else that is happening.  Because while the difficulties exist, joy, gladness, happiness, amusement, peace, and gratitude do as well.  They are not separate from each other. They exist together at the same time.

It is challenging to hold space for both. It takes effort to seek empathy, love, compassion, and gratitude when things are difficult.

When the going gets tough be kind to yourself. Tend to your whole self. And remember that there are far more good things going right.  See it with your eyes. Acknowledge it in your thoughts. Feel it in your heart.

The good news is that because you have a loving and kind heart, you are naturally capable. Sometimes it just takes a little practice to remember.

Take care of yourself. You are the only of you out there. We need you.

Chris

IMPORTANT NOTE

This is not an attempt to simplify or diminish very difficult life circumstances that individuals can be experiencing.  And with acknowledgement that not everyone has the level of access to resources (far from it) to navigate them.

While your practice can help ground you and bring clarity in challenging times. You can’t simply gratitude your way through physical, mental, or emotional challenges that require additional clinical intervention or support.  You can’t meditate or “love & light” your way out of oppressive systems designed to cut people off from resources they need.

Use your practices to support you through both difficulty and ease. Use your practices to increase compassion and empathy for those who live through challenges requiring extra support. Use your practices to increase awareness of advantages that you may benefit from, and to find opportunity to help make those systems more equitable and accessible for all.

Christopher Byrne