Give Yourself a Break. This Life Sh*t is Hard.

Practice Off The Mat

Vol. 1 Issue 5

Feel your sun shine!

This week I’ve been thinking about the expectations of ourselves that we hold onto. Questions I've been asking:

How are these formed? Where did they come from? How are they reinforced? How do you act on them? Why are you holding yourself to them? What happens when you meet the expectation? What happens when you miss that expectation?

And the answers… woof. The answers are as varied, vast, unique, and complex as there are people. And while I’ve got some opinions (ha!) this week I’m working with the practices to help navigate these complicated woods.

Here’s an example that came up in a few different ways over the past few weeks: 
 

“I am not operating at a level where I should be. How I used to.
I am letting everyone down.”

Does that sound familiar?

It feels like this has been a constant conversation everywhere. So what to do about it?

A quick tour of the internet provides all the advice, punditry, life hacks, and opinions that you could wish for. These can be great little thought nuggets. But they often skip past doing the work.

Here's my contribution: when in doubt, always come back to the practices. Mindfulness. Meditation. Yoga. These are the pathways and tools of practice that access the wisdom of the heart.

Remember that the practice is you. You are the practice. When you come back to the practice, you come back to yourself.

Recall that your nature is love, kindness, gratitude, compassion. These qualities give way to walking a path of your own truth with empathy, grace, peace, and ease. This path supports you and the people that are around you.

Take the statement “I am not operating at a level where I should be. How I used to. I am letting everyone down.”

Challenge yourself: What ruler are you using to measure against? Why that ruler? Is it the right one?

Is it even the right system of measurement?

Being present with your true nature is the doorway to creating space in these moments. This is how you can recalibrate (and even dismantle!) systems that have conditioned you to measure your worth, production, value, etc.

Look, I get it. This is all easy to write. The doing – zoinks! That’s a different thing completely.

There is immense cultural and social pressure worshiping production, attainment, obtainment, status.

That’s where the practice comes in. In the studio. On the mat. On the cushion. Out on the walk. A regular practice is the work that strengthens the skills in the face of never-ending pressure.

Pause for a moment. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath in. Let the breathe out.

Ask yourself the question “What am I am actually measuring / judging / evaluating against? Why? Is this aligned within my true nature?”

Give power and agency back to yourself through grace and empathy. Come back home to yourself. Remember your true nature.

Small changes are everywhere. The email can wait until tomorrow. The blog post can go out Friday instead of Wednesday. Do you need to answer the phone right now? Do you have to do that social engagement?

How does it feel to release some part of an expectation. How does it feel to create some more space for your own needs that nurture your true nature.

And then take it from there. One action, one breath, one heartbeat, one moment at a time.

Remember above all else: you’re pretty f*ckin’ rad. I mean look at you over there! Right now!

Your love, kindness, compassion, the immensity of your presence and limitless heart... you are remarkable!

As I learned in my very first hour of training: you have absolutely nothing to defend and nothing to prove.

As always, holding you in my heart and hoping for ease and grace to carry you through your day.

Take good care of yourself.

Chris